People say timing is everything, and I would have to agree. I was thrilled when I was asked to write this article for BaselineUK, having experienced plenty of the challenge’s that resettlement entails.
The aim of this article is to help find the right support for you. The BaselineUK community can play a huge part during your resettlement process and beyond. Its likely that you already have a support network around you in the form of friends, family, colleagues and its worth considering whether they can provide any extra support you might need in the coming months.
The clock’s ticking…
Is there ever a wrong time to implement change in your life? After all, doing things the same way will produce the same results, but changing how you do things can open a door to opportunity.
Very few people enjoy change but being able to embrace it, harness the anxiety you might feel about it and use that energy in a positive way will catapult you forward to achieve your goals.
But it won’t be as successful if you’re not ready. Which is why timing is everything.
You have your own path to follow, goals to achieve and time scales to do them by and should only measure yourself against your efforts and achievements not against other peoples.
So, make decisions to implement change but do it when its right for you, with what’s important to you at the heart of your decision.
“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” – Albert Einstein.
Think back to when you made the decision to join the military, to “be the best”.
How did you make those decisions, who was there to help you, did you make the right decision?
We make decisions all day every day, from what to have for breakfast to more meaningful one’s like where we might want to live.
We make decisions based on our circumstances, emotions, and our future ambitions but its hard to know who you will be in the future and just because something was the right decision back then, doesn’t mean it always will be, adapting can help you succeed in achieving your goals.
Generally speaking, there are 7 steps to the decision-making process:
- Define the problem
- Gather the facts
- Identify alternative solutions
- Evaluate those solutions
- Choose the best option
- Identify potential consequences of the decision
- Make the decision & communicate it
A few tips to takeaway:
- Don’t give yourself too many options, it will make it harder to narrow them down to the one you want to take, aim for 3.
- Make sure you consider logical reasons for each option.
- You don’t have to go through the process alone, brainstorming with someone can expand your horizons.
Take comfort that BaselineUK will be ready whenever you are to start looking into your resettlement process, but timing is key to success to make sure you have everything scheduled to run smoothly (and it never will, there will always be a glitch so make sure you have enough time to be prepared if something happens).
Playing their part…
For all decisions your friends, family, colleagues maybe even pets will have played some part in helping you make them. There will always be plenty of people that want to support you, but support can be counterproductive if it’s not the right support and you’re not ready to receive it.
You might already know the solution to your problem, but it’s good to talk about it to process the detail and make sure it is the best solution for you. During my partners resettlement process on many occasions he just needed to talk to someone, talk out loud and clear the fog. Just being able to voice his thoughts and having someone to listen, who he trusted, allowed him to consider all the available options whilst being true to himself.
Some important traits for your listener:
- Pick someone who will listen to you (sounds obvious but most people spend their time thinking what they will say in response rather than just simply listening to what you have to say)
- Pick someone whose morals and opinions you trust, after all if you ask for their opinion, that is what you’re going to get.
- Pick someone who isn’t going to judge you, something you might say or even judge you if you don’t take their opinion (no one wants to hear the dreaded “I told you so”).
- Lastly, pick someone who wont project their own concerns onto you during the decision-making process (after all making the right decision for you ultimately makes the difficult but right decision for those around you).
This could be family, friends, specialist or just someone positive and supportive. You might have different people supporting you through different situations. One thing to keep in mind when asking for support, consider their personal circumstances. Neither you nor they will benefit from the support if not enough time or resource is invested into resolving the problem.
You need stability, someone you can rely upon to be there when you need them.
There will be lots to think about during your resettlement, a new job, perhaps setting up a new home, maybe even in a new area but most of all settling into a civilian lifestyle. This will probably be the biggest change of all. The freedom that civilian life can bring, means that you can do what you want, when you want so you will want likeminded people around you. You may have old school friends you’ve kept in touch with, or family friends to catch up with but people change, you change & whilst holding on to the people you value, you might want to make some new friends to broaden your friendship groups & expose you to new interests.
This is even more important if you are moving to a new area. The BaselineUK network can help with meeting new people but making friends in everyday life can be rewarding. Friends can help take you in the direction you want to go so its worth thinking about the type of friend you are looking for and look to meet them doing the things you enjoy, hopefully that means you already have something in common.
Maybe you could be supporting someone through their personal circumstances (whether like yours or not). Having gone through it and been supported you will develop skills that are transferrable to all corners of your life.
So, if you want support, let yourself be supported, ask for it and learn to accept it in all its different forms. We all need a little support throughout our lives so do not be afraid to ask for it or doubt its value.
Remember, there are specialists for any specific help you might need.
If you would like to talk more about support that might be available, then send an email to [email protected]
Thank you for taking the time to read this article, I hope it helped!